Decisions are something we all have to make on a daily basis, however do we ever pause to recognise the impact of them and what is influencing them? Personally I have had to sacrifice many things in my quest to become a counsellor, one was putting off a huge decision into happiness.
It all started when I was studying counselling at university and I was drawn to the mental health approaches and techniques used to empower people. Cliche I know, i study psychology and fall in love with wanting to be a counsellor but my own personal tragedy led me down this path. Losing someone I saw as a father figure in my life to suicide shook me and my family to the core, but the resilience we showed in the throws of grief and the ways we each coped through fascinated me. I wanted to embark on a journey ensuring that no one ever felt alone navigating their way though a time of hardship. I was naive at first thinking that having a degree would lead to success, but after consistent rejections I started my counseling training alongside a full time job and volunteering. I went with the flow, having moments of hell where i felt the immense pressure of all of the work and drowning in it and highs when I started to practice the techniques with clients and saw the benefits of the hard work paying off.
One thing that was missing in the journey was self belief, I couldn't step back and allow myself to see a way through the doubt that loomed until struggling with grief and recognising that I needed space to explore this and the challenges it presented. I found a counsellor so believe me when I say I understand how scary this feels to do, what seemed like a small decision became one of the most influential I have had in my path to my career. The process allowed me to understand what had been holding me back, which was in fact my fears, my anxieties and the reasons that fuelled my lack of self belief. Unlocking these areas allowed me find the courage to make a huge leap into the unknown and embrace the changes soon to follow. After 11 1/2 years of my work safety blanket I decided that the unhappiness it created was finally too much so the notice went in.
Here I am on the precipice of huge change, all fuelled by a series of decisions that many at times saw as small, but I saw them as huge leaps. Never underestimate the magnitude of decisions we make as it can often lead us on a path of beauty and freedom, or misery. Misery can be comforting if it is all we feel safe to sit with, but it doesn't have to be this way. You can make the changes and I can help you to make those changes if you choose the path of freedom for even a moment.
